‘Tis Valentine’s Day, my friends. As always, my plans are exceedingly romantic, and involve buying giant heart-shaped candy boxes and eating them myself while watching movies with explosions. To honour that true spirit of Valentine’s Day, I am not doing a full Top Ten Tuesday. I’m doing a Top Five And Then Another Top Five But It’s Not Ten Trust Me It’ll Make Sense In A Second Tuesday.
Because I am a single pringle, I will do my top five books with no major romance. (Oh boy. This might be tough.) After, because I am a resentful single pringle who sometimes wishes she had her own romantic subplot while she tries to take over the world, I will do my top five book couples. Good? Good.
- In case you’ve missed it, one of my favourite books is Scott Lynch’s The Lies of Locke Lamora. While Locke is definitely in love during that first book, it’s really just mentioned in passing and the person he’s in love with never shows up. Plus, it has lots of explosions, so it’s the perfect Valentine’s Day book.
- Continuing with the trend of non-YA books having far less romance than YA books, I give you American Gods by Neil Gaiman. There is a dead wife, but her interactions with our main character Shadow are pretty un-romantic. Maybe it’s because she’s dead. That would definitely put a damper on things.
- If you’d rather laugh like a crazy person than read about hijinks and things blowing up (I like to do both), The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy is another excellent Valentine’s Day read and you can forget about all your friends in relationships being all mushy because they’re on Earth and one of the first things that happens in this book is Earth blowing up.
- One thing that This Savage Song got a lot of buzz for when it came out is the fact that it was romance-free. (Our Dark Duet wasn’t exactly, but, for the purposes of this list and my sanity, we’ll look at the first book as being romance-free.) While I was definitely shipping Kate and August, it was still pretty platonic. And it’s Victoria Schwab. Need I say more?
- Finally, the early Harry Potter books have no romance. I’m sorry. There are just too many romantic subplots in books.
(go with it, it rhymes)
- Hello, hi, my name’s Leo, and HAVE I WAILED TO YOU ABOUT KAZ AND INEJ FROM SIX OF CROWS? They’re perfect adorable little murder babies and I want them to have all the happiness in the world.
- As a little weirdo who’s going to university next year, I have reread Fangirl more times than I care to admit, and it’s just cemented in my head that Levi and Cath are one of the sweetest, most realistic (I think?) couples to ever grace the pages of a book.
- But! There is also the over the top melodramatic couples! They can be good too! (Actually, I tend to hate them, but there is an exception.) Feyre and Rhysand from Sarah J. Maas’ A Court of X and Y series frequently make me laugh with how cheesy they are. But! I still ship it.
- Another excellent couple comes courtesy of the excellent V.E. Schwab. (I know, she’s in my no-romance list. Because she can do everything.) This couple is Kell and Lila from the Shades of Magic series. One of them has a cool coat. The other wants to be a pirate. Those are my life goals there.
- Finally, let’s throw back to 1812, when Jane Austen single-handedly created a trope (probably not, but maybe) and changed the world of books forever. I am talking Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy. Would it be a list of best couples without acknowledging those two?
Who are your OTPs? What’s a ship you just can’t wait to see sail? What are some good romance-free reads? And what are your plans for Valentine’s Day? Should we make a Single Pringle club?